I had a few other coping skills at the time that were less innocuous than painting. Even though I was on meds, I was not consistently stable. Self-indulgence was not a new concept for me. I self-soothed with things like food, shopping, and sex. That immediate gratification was comforting. It was like the high I… Read More Slippery Rocks
Once I was fired from my job in Raleigh in 2004 and was in the height of mania, I had an unusual reaction. All I wanted to do was paint. It wasn’t merely a therapeutic exercise or escape, it was a visceral need to purge what was crying to get out. I think I completed… Read More Paint the Pain Away
My living room window was cracked just a little at first and I found the freezing air oddly soothing. In the winter of 2006 that’s where I stood, nineteen stories up with nowhere to go but down. It would have been so easy, too. I told myself it wouldn’t hurt, that it would be like… Read More Gone to the Dogs
Grace, Under Fire 